imagine

When Elida began to walk at 10 months old, WE began to run. This is one of many excuses I have for not writing on this blog since April.  I am a busy, working, tired mama who had bigger ideals than what was realistic.  Still, I am here now and the new year will be here soon and I am always full of resolutions every January 1st.

New Years resolutions actually always make me think of my grandmother, Gram.  She and I would resolve first off to make resolutions and then we would share (in letters from Iowa to Colorado) what they were and how we could keep them at least past February.  Gram passed away in August, which is yet another reason I have for not writing.  I have been sad.  If you know me at all, you know that she was a very important woman in my life and the loss of her has been staggeringly difficult.  When you have a toddler, you cannot be paralyzed by grief (even though that is how I have felt) so we have continued on.  And, I miss Gram.  It is consistently hard to imagine life without her, even though I know she lives on in us in so many ways.

I was thinking about my last visit with Gram the other day. My grandmother collected and was given many sheep and lambs over the years.  When we visited Gram for that last time, Elida was pretty entranced with many of those sheep.  She would take them from whatever shelf or cabinet they were in and bring them to a smiling Gram one by one each time saying very clearly "Baaa....Baaaaa..." Gram and Elida loved this game and it is such a nice memory I have of Ida and Elida together.    Gram ended up going to the hospital not long after we arrived back in Colorado from that trip.  Elida overheard Adam and I talking with concern about Gram a few days after she went into the hospital and Elida steps over to us and with concern asked, "Baaaaaa?"  Somehow her mind remembered.

This story illustrates for me what the beginning of the phase we are in now as parents, which is the amazement of our little person's mind.  She is learning and growing every day with her language, agility and adoption of new concepts.  In the last few months, we have seen her imagination grow and grow.  It is so fun to see her cook in her little kitchen and pretend to give us a taste of her soup that she's made or a cookie she baked in her oven.  She talks and talks, even when we are not sure what she is saying.  She exercises her sense of humor daily and loves to explore any new corner she comes upon.  Her imagination is so entertaining to us because she is surprising every day.

One night, we had gone out to eat in Old Town and Elida was carrying her little stuffed bunny which she calls "B".  We stepped outside and above us was the moon.  The moon is VERY exciting these days.  Elida saw the moon, squealed with delight and then squatted down right outside the restaurant.  She then looked very seriously and held "B" up in the air and said, "B? Moon?" and then threw "B" very high as if our little stuffed bunny could land on the moon.  It was a cool moment- watching "B" fly through the air and Elida possibly imagining it was possible for "B" to get to the moon.   Even tonight, I observed her imagination as I was cooking a dinner, that I eventually dropped (yes dropped) on the floor.  I was fairly devastated by my failed culinary attempts, when Elida climbed on top of our patient golden retriever and started making the sounds of a horse ("neighhhhh!") and waving her hands in delight.   She sure knows how to have fun and I suddenly didn't care about having to find something else for us all to eat.

As I navigate my own stress and sadness and a busy schedule along with the normal ups and downs of life, I am so grateful to have this beautiful toddler who finds such joy in imagination and in the simple things.   She continues to be such a reminder to be in the moment, imagine possibilities and truly love what is.