changes

Adam and I have realized quickly through this parenting journey that the moment we think we have something figured out, the situation changes. We start to relax and something new comes our way.  I am pretty sure that parenting will constantly be a learning experience where I will be humbled by not knowing (a lot) and learning by living through the constant changes of our young and complicated family member.  This has been on my mind a lot as I figure out how to be a mom, a full time school counselor, a good partner, and a caring friend to others and myself.

Elida turns four months in a few days, and if you haven't seen her lately, you will be surprised by how much she has grown and transformed. It is amazing how much she has changed since we took our trip to Minnesota and she was 2 months old.  She now giggles, which melts my heart with joy.  Her giggle is this throaty and genuine laugh that makes me and Adam think we are the funniest comedians.  She also has been rolling from her back to her stomach a handful of times.   She is much more interactive and definitely smiles when someone she knows comes into a room.  Every day she seems to present us with something new- a different sound, a new movement or facial expression.

I went back to work on August 1st, and that was a big change for me and my routine.  No more lazy days with me and my baby at home.  The last month, I now seem to be in a constant rush- getting up early, rushing over at noon to feed Elida during my half hour lunch break, leaving work to pick her up from child care.  With my mom and stepdad taking Elida once a week and her going to an early childhood learning center called "The Teaching Tree" the rest of the week, we know she is in good hands, yet it feels sad to miss out on a big chunk of her day during the week.  I haven't loved this change.

Throughout all the changes Elida is going through and the changes in our lives as we adjust to new routines, I do feel like we are managing pretty well.  We definitely have evenings where Adam and I collapse on the bed after Lida falls asleep and we are just so so so tired.... and then Lida gets up 3 times in the night even though she usually sleeps all night long.  We have some mornings where I arrive late in a flustered hurry at work because the morning routine took longer than usual.  And then I try to remain calm and counsel distraught teenagers all day.  I have moments after work where I wonder when I will get to make that phone call or exercise or see any friends because there are just not enough hours in the day.  And then (thank goodness) we have had days, where it all just falls together and we are super parents and super humans, somehow meeting the needs of our child and even ourselves.  Those days are nice.

With all this change that has happened every day since Elida was born, one thing that has been consistent (and growing) is our love for this little girl.  She is truly amazing and we are very aware that we are so lucky to have her.  I can't help but smile when she smiles.  Laugh when she laughs.  Feel sad when she gets sad.  I can't help but adore her more and more every day.  That will never change.

(Lida's first Tour de Fat)